This blog was archived from September 23, 2015.
I am that person who tries her hardest to make light out of a dark bad situation. That's just how I cope. We all cope differently. I like to be able to laugh at a problem eventually while going through all the emotions and dark thoughts in my head. Your mind can be a scary place when you're scorned, right? It's like.. evil dark thoughts.. just go away already! Just go away! I write a lot. Writing helps.
Long story short, I had a bad gut feeling about an individual many months ago who came in to my life and wanted to "help" and "work" for FREE. Yep. You read that right: FREE.
Mistake number ONE was not trusting my gut about this person and just saying NO. Well, I kinda said no, but that ruling was overturned and out of my control. So moving forward, I've always been told that no one works for free. YOU GUYS. Read that last sentence over and over and over until you have it marked on your brain. NO ONE WORKS FOR FREE.
Everyone expects compensation for what they do. It's a given! And they should! I am already someone who likes to just pay a person what they're worth. If you start off a transaction by haggling, you will end up being haggled in the long run. It's a fact. You haggle down a car? Don't think the dealer has the upper hand when you're walking away.. ever. They might be laughing and high-fiving each other as you drive off thinking you're the victor because yes you might have got the monthly you wanted and you think you just saved $3,000.00 on the asking price.. but you just signed up to pay on it for 72 months.. with that kind of interest? Guess who won. Here's a hint: not you. So just don't. I get haggled constantly in the photography business and when I used to just have to bite the bullet and take a gig because it was paying my bills.. do you really think I gave that client 100%? No. My price was haggled by 30%. So you get 70% of my efforts because apparently that's what I am worth to you. The client who paid me my asking price and what I was worth? Well, they valued me. So I valued them. It's a hard truth and a hard pill to swallow, but pretending that people won't slightly take offense to these things is only kidding yourself. Thank God in the last few years I've just stuck to my guns. I've had happier clients, and I've been a happier person. Just remember, you might think you are getting the better deal, but if you just haggled with a human being about what you're willing to pay for a service they provide; the chances of disappointment will be higher.
I didn't want to mope this entire blog, so I made a list of people that I think you just cannot trust, like ever. The list was in fact about 50 times longer, but I downsized it because really in the end you cannot trust anyone. It's supposed to be satirical, so to the person who takes life too seriously, you cannot be trusted. ;) Here we go:
PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR FREE.
No, no you don't. Just stop lying to yourself and everyone else. You have to be careful around people who come in to your life saying they will help you for free or for trade of something that is free to you. You know why? When things go south (and they always do), this person will be the FIRST person to run screaming to the hills about how they did x,y,and z for you and you never paid them. Even though there was no promise of payment, people keep record of things they've done for others. You never want someone to be able to go around town and say things like, "I helped ___ with ___ and they never paid me!" If you don't compensate someone, don't expect anything. You wanna give someone the benefit of the doubt? Unless this person can feed themselves on your promises and on your happiness: FAT CHANCE my friend! Personally, even if the deal sounds amazing and you encounter someone who REALLY AND TRULY wants to help for free... just pay them anyway. Pay them so they can never say that they did something for you for nothing. You know what I say about people who work for free and complain about it? "That sucks.. why did you work for free then, Idiot?"
Listen Jim, I am here because I got a $15.00 off coupon for your services. Here is the coupon. I cut it nicely from the flyer it was in, and you might as well just ring me up right now for the oil change because that's all I want to pay for. I should only be paying $25 today. Let's make that happen. Nope. Jim will likely call you half-way through the car being ready to tell you about a few things that need to be fixed. Parts and pieces you've never heard of. He will also try to sell you a more expensive oil that your car needs to have. It's like feeding your car McDonald's or Filet Mignon. Listen Jim, I don't feed my car either. I feed it gas. And I feed it the cheapest gas it requires. Because my car will not appreciate filet mignon, JIM! Stop making this more than it is, I need oil so that the red light that beeps when ever I sit in my car will go away. I need that MAINT REQ'D to go away. I don't pick up that call half-way, I let that go to voicemail. Because if they cannot sell it to you on the phone, they have to finish up the oil change regardless. So now you go and pick up your car to pay for it. They wanna tell you about a new filter you need for the air conditioner. Funny, that's what you said 6 months ago and it's still blowing out cool air. They make you feel bad about not going with their suggestions, leaving you driving away thinking they didn't even change your oil .. oh and now your car might explode since apparently you've been driving around in a ticking time bomb for months.
PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT SPENDING MONEY.
You know that friend you always used to invite out but they would complain to you about not having enough? Dude.. it's just Applebee's. It's gonna cost you like $12 to come and hang out with me. Then the next day you see this person just spent half their paycheck on booze and weed for what? So they can party by themselves on a couch for the weekend? People who complain about money constantly and being broke forget that #1, no one cares about your money problems and #2, we all know you're not really broke, but we get that you really suck at prioritizing. That Target run for sunglasses and a new skirt was way more exciting than going out with friends, right? Just keep your financial status to yourself. If you really cannot afford to go out don't go saying that! You're looking for pity, or you become that friend that someone else always has to pay for. Stay in then. Tell the real truth if we're telling truths here. You would rather buy sunglasses at Target than go to Applebee's. Heck, I'd rather too!
This one is too obvious but if you want me to complain about it I will anyway. You're paying for someone to tell you things you already know. I mean.. if they talk about your dead grandparent, it's like.. did you forget that your grandparent died? Of course not! Be real with yourself. You are paying for that comfort in knowing that the deceased person is in a better place. Hey, if you already believe in that better place (aka: HEAVEN) then why don't you just go to church, where they can tell you that for free? Or you wanna hear that you made the right financial decision. How will the lines on your hand tell this to them? Your financial future? I had a splinter come in through the bottom left hand when I was 12. I was able to get a little bit of it out when it entered, and then I snapped it wrong and it's been stuck there ever since. It hasn't just been stuck there.. it's been moving across my hand. It's now in the middle. Does this affect my prophecy? Guess what. The real Prophets...they tell THE future. Not your future. THE FUTURE. Yours is too small and insignificant. Realize that now. Oh and real prophets? DON'T PROFIT. This is not something they do for money. They were gifted with this (at least by what we've read) and so they tell their predictions for free. Once they start charging you to tell you that you are not pregnant (which you could have found out by spending $11 at Walgreens), you should really ask yourself where you went wrong in your life.
HAIR STYLISTS AT SUPERCUTS OR FANTASTIC SAMS
The hair cut is $9.99. You just cannot expect greatness. You're stuck in this one because what's not to love about a $10 hair cut? The most you can expect is that they removed the split ends. But expecting to look like that girl on the cover of Vogue is a long stretch here.. and you look like a jerk if you complain about a $10 hair cut. This is the place you take your kids to, because you don't want the blame for the awful cut. You want to blame the mean lady with the scissors, in the shop. Not mommy.. it's not mommy's fault. The people who work there are also rolling their eyes if you ask for something super or fantastic.. ;) They're saying, "look who has $10 to throw away today. Yay me."
CHEFS/CLASSY RESTAURANTS WHO DON'T SHARE INGREDIENTS.
BUTTER! There, I said it! That is the secret ingredient to why their porterhouse steak or their salmon fillet tastes better than the one you bought from Smart and Final and tried to make yourself. It was OOZING in butter in a saute pan. I don't like when restaurants want to charge me $70 for a steak and just list it's ounces and that it comes with asparagus (that has also been buttered up). Also, I get it. Organic food is way more expensive, we get it. It's now at it's peak of expensive-ness because you added butter to it!
PR PEOPLE. (Public Relations)
This person is pretty much a trained liar. PR Reps.. well, they have that rep! PR professionals spend a lot of time cultivating relationships with journalists and other members of the mass media. A PR professional crafts press releases resembling a compelling news story, making it clear why his client's product, service or personal history is important. The goal is to fulfill the journalist's requirement for news while enhancing the client's image in the public eye. A lot of smoke and mirrors. Now, this is someone you might need to help you with your business, but forming a relationship with someone who does this? How do you trust them, I wonder? They are trained to say things to you that make you feel and look good. They can be good at marketing and helping sell a product, but that's because they've likely sold their own souls to the devil. Let's get one thing straight, you NEED a PR person for your business, but this should not be someone you go to with your deep dark secrets, ever. Same can be said of lawyers.
REALLY? Don't you have anything better to do with your life than blog about it?! Your children are not that interesting.. and your recipes are garbage. hahahah! Sorry, just wanted to include that one in there and be a hypocrite!
CASE IN POINT**And there I am, below, oh you know, just casually posing like it's super normal to force your husband to take photos of you while the kids watch A Goofy Movie in an air-conditioned car right down the way. Seriously life does not look that amazing and it isn't. It's great that you can paint it out to be perfection but don't trust it, alright? I am currently blogging this with ratty hair in a ratty ponytail and boxer shorts that don't match my shirt, contemplating for the past 2 hours if I should get on a spin bike or not. Below are pics taken before a party, so I was already dressed. I made Jeff snap these for 5 minutes and yes, most of the smiling is fake. I'm not a fashionista, I just play one on social media. ;)
Is it wine time yet? You know who you can trust?! People who drink wine. They just get it. Life is not that complicated and over-thinking things can get stressful. I was going to write about not trusting your brain. Not trusting your heart. Not trusting any high school teacher and not trusting just anyone who is trying to sell you anything. Then I began to doubt myself and not trust myself at this point. Can I trust my fingers right now to really type what my brain wants it to type? Is this just getting too deep for no reason? Mkay. Hurry up 5 o'clock. Till next time friends! <3
All content and images copyright Talia Likeitis ©2015 and cannot be used without expressed permission.
Photography by: Jeff