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No, I'm Not Condoning "Locker Room Talk", But I AM Calling You A Hypocrite

Updated: Feb 17, 2021

This blog was archived from October 10, 2016.

This is not a political post. This is actually a "cheers to all my perfect friends who have never had one dirty thought in their lives" post.

OOOooohh the shock to my ears when I heard the crass, vulgar remarks that Presidential hopeful Donald Trump made about women. I'm sure we've all heard it by now. However, that shock lasted about 3 minutes, then I sunk back in my chair and realized, wow... I have a lot to confess/apologize for.

I've been to a few bachelorette parties, I've had my own. I went to a Thunder From Down Under show with a bunch of girl friends and we had a blast - laughing and sizing up these men with their seemingly real Australian accents. I know I've laughed with girls before and talked about men like they were meat. It was all in good fun. Yep, those are the words we would use to describe it, because it was innocent, there was no harm done. Some girls would take it a little overboard - some even joked about groping and didn't. Yes I sat through the god-awful movie "50 Shades of Rape Grey" in a private theatre since I was invited by cousins and aunts. It was packed. Women were laughing at the disturbing ways that this main character was being treated. Why? Well, she kind of does it to herself. I'm not a fan nor have I read the books but if you watch this character she's a total idiot and it's not that she deserves this, but she allows it for whatever irritating reason. There's literally a scene in this movie where he is WHIPPING her and she is crying and allows him to continue. Quite disturbing actually... yet how many of your friends have professed their love for a Christian Grey type? Does this make us assholes? I guess, now that I think about it; yes. Can you judge knowing fully in your heart you have never, not once, talked about or joked about the opposite sex?

The following days after this video release was me sitting back continuously being shocked by how many hypocrites filled up my news feed with their take on the words that spewed from Trump's mouth. Once again, not condoning what he said, but this was coming from people I have HEARD WITH MY OWN EARS speak down about women, talk about their looks, size them up with their crude words. Do you know how much strength it took for me to NOT comment on some of their posts? One was from an ex-boss, who had the audacity to post about his feelings on this topic. This man owns an establishment that in the three years I worked there, ONLY hired female servers. I would know, I was one of them, and I became a part of the hiring process to interview other girls for the job. I would sit in the office and listen to the head chef and the managers talk about the girls who would sit and wait for their interviews. They sat by the hostess stand not knowing that for five minutes they were being judged by their looks - body, appearance, etc. They had to have the ---insert restaurant name---- "look" in order to work there. Even when I got pregnant, I was told by management that I didn't have that ---insert restaurant name---- "look" and was moved to lunch shifts instead of dinners. Another waitress there got pregnant and actually SUED the restaurant which had to settle out of court with her because once she was showing and didn't have the ---insert restaurant name---- "look", they dropped her from 4 shifts to 1. We all knew it. Everyone who worked there knew it! And to top it off?! The head chef of this restaurant was a known (hate to use the word) "d-bag"... I can't think of ONE girl who worked there who he didn't hit on and degrade. Yet he kept his job. When there were complaints about him, management did nothing. I repeat: NOTHING. He said in his post that if he ever heard an employee speak this way about a woman, they would have been fired on the spot. UUMMM.. your general manager kept his job for years and he was called a pervert by almost every girl in that place. Even many female customers would be disgusted by both him and the head chef alone... so please. Who are you trying to kid?! Did I comment on the post? No. I knew this wouldn't be something this person would ever admit on his FB timeline, so why bother? But what's sad is at least 20 girls I know would vouch for this right now and say he was out of his mind to post what he did. -_-

But we all get on our high horse and love to call out others, don't we? Please, tell me how this isn't THE SAME THING:


Short of secretary Clinton saying she wants to see Lenny Kravitz's d*ck, she implies it, but hey! That's okay I suppose, since she is a woman talking about a man. Since she is a WOMAN speaking about a man's body parts... guess that isn't grounds for a 20-minute debate interview with Anderson Cooper. HYPOCRITES. If you can watch that and still want to talk about how what DT said was worse, you've been brainwashed and it's apparent to everyone else but yourself.

Gotta make up your minds on this one folks. If we have to stop bringing up personal affairs of presidential candidates from decades ago, that should apply to all candidates, right? I wish I could tell these people who are posting some of this stuff exactly what I think right to their faces. You are guilty, I am guilty, so let's stop pretending like we are innocent in all of this, okay?

And I know what a lot of people might be thinking: Well Talia, you're not running for president. I get it! And as much as I cringe about our options for president currently, they are not running to be the pope. Sorry, but there have been great leaders who have been adulterers and pigs in their personal lives. (JFK, MLK.. just to name a couple. But they had a purpose, leading, and even with their personal affairs, they are still looked at as 'heroes'.) The country has to make up it's mind... we either bring up the past in their personal lives, or we don't. For both. They are so obviously biased, and whether you're for one or not, we have to call the media out on it. That's it. Judge the candidate for presidency based on their ACTIONS and what they plan to do for this country. If you're gonna split hairs, you're going to have the toughest time weeding out the leaders we have had in this nation based on their personal affairs.

Society HAS to stop, both male and female talking about the other sex in such a way. I admitted earlier that I am also guilty of this, and just because I haven't done such things that I have been thinking at times doesn't mean I am any better than these two. For people like MILEY CYRUS to come out and say that Donald Trump makes sexist remarks about women, when she appears on stage like THIS (which is 10x more degrading to women if you ask me) should be telling! C'mon Miley... WHAT!?

Take a good look at those images above. STOP saying it isn't the same thing. Stop it already. No, Miley isn't running for president. But to say that this person with her MILLIONS of fans and followers isn't possibly INFLUENCING future leaders is bonkers! My son could see this. Your son. You think it's going to affect how they treat women? Possibly. You think it's going to affect their views on women? Yeah, perhaps just a little. Now, can I judge your son or mine on their leadership skills if they grow up watching and listening to garbage above? Does it affect how they might negotiate with other countries? No. So let's stop pretending that the current leaders of the world don't think, haven't thought, and won't think about garbage like this when it comes to women. You are insane media, to show us images like this with no problem, and expect the men in our society to have nothing but respect for women. I don't believe Donald Trump when he says he respects all women. But I don't believe your son, your husband, or your boyfriend either. Not 100%, all the time. Sorry. If men aren't the ones talking about it, they're at least laughing to talk like this. I can honestly say that I don't joke aloud about degrading men, but when I hear female comics do it, I have chuckled. What's worse? Is it all the same? Can we stop, really? Admitting guilt is a lot easier than everyone looking at you like you are a LIAR and in denial. Once again, the garbage shown above, the garbage all over your television, the crap you hear on the radio: IS INFLUENCING FUTURE LEADERS WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.

I'm actually glad that a video like that was released. Yes it looks and sounds terrible for Trump. But it got the nation talking, and looking at THEMSELVES. "But he is bragging about physically assaulting women and grabbing them in that area!" Hey! Have these women come out and hired lawyers shouting "rape!"? For all we know, he is guilty of bragging about doing this just to get a laugh from a fellow male. Yet over a handful of women have written books and actually hired and sued the Clinton's on grounds of rape... but for 20 years this nation turned a blind eye. Roseanne Barr lost her show when she interviewed Paula Jones because she was calling Bill out on being a rapist. What did we do to these women? The country shamed them. THINK ABOUT IT. You cannot be against this type of action in one person and ignore it for the other. You have to make up your mind. You want to continue to call out Trump for this crude language? You better be willing to call out the opposing side, the past leaders, and yeah, yourself.

It is not going to be easy to quit talking like this altogether, but perhaps we can get rid of this for the next generation. It starts at home. Fathers, be careful how you speak about women, especially when your kids are around. Mothers, be careful to say things when men you find attractive are on tv. Your kids hear you! Our entire culture is obsessed with our bodies and bodies of celebrities and this is all we hear, constantly. I love how this girl summed it up:

Newsflash: this won't stop any time soon. Unless you demand better in terms of filing complaints to radio, television, and all the media, Hollywood, musicians... this can go so much further that you would literally have to crucify everyone. EVERYONE would be shamed. The only way to fix this is to transform the way we think. If we continue to think the same things, we will continue to do the same things.

But hey, here's to thinking we are perfect, acting like we have zero guilt and that we have never said anything disgusting about the opposite sex ever. I have some repenting to do. I am not perfect, and guess what? I know not ONE person who is. Cheers!

^Here's a drink recommendation if you're feeling offended,if you feel like this post resonated with you, or if you are truly just so perfect then CHEERS!

All content and images copyright Talia Likeitis ©2016 and cannot be used without expressed written permission.

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